Saturday

Blue Day

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My heart is heavy.  I want to see Sunshine in every situation.  But today I can not find that.  It is been 16 years since he passed.  Time has not made it easier, nor has it made it fade.  Even though he was sick for a couple of years, the morning he passed still echoes so loudly in my thoughts.

Today will be filled with distant stares, mind drifting to what if's, and the numbness that has not fully left my heart. 

Every so often I am graced with the most beautifully bright, orange-ish red sun rises.  I do get a BIG grin and think of my brother.  On those mornings I feel warmth and have fond memories.  I normally see them on my early morning long commute to work.  Those are the thoughts that I want to consume me.

2 comments:

Christina September 15, 2008 at 8:40 AM  

I am sorry for your pain. the one year anniversary of my husband's brother is coming up...I ache for him, and I ache for you.

Jaimee September 15, 2008 at 3:24 PM  

What a sadness you've had to carry for 16 years! I hope you were able to think of some of the good times and bring a little happiness to your heart that day.

Land of K.A.

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"Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened." -Cora Harvey Armstrong-

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