Oh Chrstmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree

Since my brother passed away 16 years ago, Christmas has been hard. After he passed away, my parents and I would go to Mexico during the Holiday to just "be together". No hassle with finding the right gift for someone, no cleaning, no cooking; just enjoying each other.

When I got married, I tried really hard to embrace the holiday spirit, but it was still lost. I went through the motions. Wishing that everyone would just "be together". Having visions of everyone at a ski resort or on the beach laughing and hanging out for a few days. No cleaning the house or dishes to be washed. I enjoy the food and company, but the gift giving is so hard.

I am lucky that all holidays are spent with both parents at ONE event. We do not have to eat 3 meals at 3 houses. Commander's family is all in the state and my parents are always involved. I am sad that I never see my parents side of the family- but the distance makes it harder to celebrate with them.

Having my own children has really helped me to see the brightness that I once felt at this time of year. The build up of the BIG day. My kids are now old enough to remember how to sing the Christmas songs. We sing a funny version of Jingle Bells.

Jingle Bells,
Batman smells,
Robin laid an egg,
Bat mobile lost a wheel
and Joker got away
Hay

Jingle Bells,
Daddy smells,
Momma laid an egg,
The van lost a wheel
and the **** (our last name) boys got away
Hay


**** Moose came up with second versus on his own. We were all driving home and he sung that. Commander and I started laughing so hard.



I thought this was a funny picture. It looks like a three headed monster.

So far this holiday season, one of my favorite things is watching Bear turning on the tree lights every morning. It's his thing. I never asked him to do it, but it's the first thing he does when he comes down the stairs. It took me a couple of mornings to realize who was turning on the lights. I often find him sitting on the chair next to the tree just looking at it. Wow, how great is that.

I still have visions of all the whole family (15+) of us getting away for a few days. But now it includes sending a letter to Santa to have him bring the kids gifts to our get away.